Okay, okay. Here I am! See? :)
Everyone who reads this blog knows what's been going on with me, but just because I love to TORTURE myself and make myself feel BAD, here's the short story:
Something happened that finally made me break up with my non-boyfriend. Yes, it's true. It's horrible. I hate it. I miss him.
But indeed, it's over. Like my sister said, you can't help who you fall in love with, but sometimes you fall in love with jerks. Although I don't really think he's a jerk. However he did block me from his internet connection and totally blocked me from MSN Messenger. He was a jerk then. ("You were angry and I wasn't sure if you would try to hurt me by messing my stuff up.") Then he apologized and admitted he acted like an asshole. Then I cried. A lot. It's really hard when a very good friend (who happens to be the man you're in love with) tells you that he thinks about you everyday and is sick about the way things happened, and then tells you that you're one in a million and that he'll never find anyone like you. Oh, but yeah...He's still not in love with you.
Oh well. Right now, I can totally see us being friends in the future, once I get past these feelings...but then again, I'm stupid like that.
I'm trying to move on with my life, which includes moving my pathetic self and my adorable dog to a new apartment. I'm looking forward to it, because it means that Ken will absolutely no longer be in the picture. Plus, my rent will be lower! Yay!
I feel so out of it, though. I haven't really been able to eat in the past, say, MONTH, and I have no energy or will to pack. Add that to the super sharp pain through my heart that happens everytime I'm in my apartment and I can hear him, and you get a total of 4 boxes packed.
ANYWAY!! I'm gonna wrap this post up and post on another topic. Goodbye Ken, hello anorexia. :)
1 comment:
Sounds like you're moving on- literally! :) And Yay for lower rent!! I always thought that place was kind of high- and Yay you've posted again-you've been missed! :)
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