Good lord, I need to find something to focus on.
I've spent the last few days depressed as hell. I feel that way for a multitude of reasons. The biggest reason is that I feel more alone now than I've ever felt in my entire life. This seems completely ridiculous because I have family and friends that love me and support me, but I still feel alone.
Something else that's ridiculous is how much a miss Ken. There is a huge hole in my life right now where he used to be, and it's very difficult for me. No lectures, please...I know that it's stupid and I need to stop thinking about him, and it's just adding to my stress, but I can't help it.
So, I'm dealing with THAT, and I'm also coming to the realization that the father of this baby is going to make this hard for me. I haven't heard from him since I told him the news (a little over a week ago). So, I'm going to have to get ready for that challenge.
So, emotionally, I'm a wreck.
Physically, I was sick to my stomach almost all day today. I slept until 10am, then had to lay down and take a nap at noon. I finally got up around 3pm, ate TWO peanut butter and honey sandwhiches, took a shower, and I still feel like crap. My skin is really really dry, too. My hands are cracking and starting to hurt a little bit.
I need to get my head in the game, pronto! What the hell is wrong with me?!?!
Sigh. And I have to go back to work tomorrow. Then I'll probably spend New Years Eve just like I spent Christmas Eve...Alone. (gosh, am I good at feeling sorry for myself or WHAT?!?!?!)
2 comments:
good lord! It's a good thing I didn't read that before I went to lunch with you today. I probably would have been afraid you would have started crying right there on top of your cheeseburger! You don't have to spend new year's eve alone, you know. And you didn't have to spend Christmas eve alone. I seem to remember inviting you over to this exciting zoo! Who wouldn't want to be here in this mess? LOL
LOL! Just feeling sorry myself a bit, that's all!!
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