Sigh.

Doctors appointment at 10:45am.

It would be a great day if only.....

10:45am
Nurse: "Wow, you've lost 20 pounds in one week and you look great. And your blood pressure is fantastic!"

10:50am
Dr. Castillo: "Hey kid. Okay, everything looks good. Let's check and see where you are...Wow! You're already 9cm dilated, this baby is ready to come in a little while. You haven't felt any pain? Well, that just mean that you're the best at giving birth! Let's go to the hospital!"

11:00am
Dr. Castillo: "This is going to be the fastet labor ever. It's time to push! Ready? Okay, push!"

11:01am
Dr. Castillo: "Here's your baby! He's the most beautiful, smart, witty, athletic, and responsible baby I've EVER SEEN!"

11:02am
The Cute Anesthesilogist: "Well, I was here to give you your epidural, but you had the quickest, least painful delivery in the history of childbirth. By the way, I think you are the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen and I want to marry you and help you raise your beautiful, smart, witty, athletic, and responsible son. I will never tell you that I don't want a relationship with you and then try to sleep with you, nor will I ever tell you that I have to decide if you're worth another "bump in the road." Oh, and I love little white dogs named Puddy."

11:03am
Dr. Castillo: "By the way, here is a check for 14 billion dollars because you were the best patient ever."


And of course, this is what will probably happen:

10:45am
Nurse: "No change in your weight. And your blood pressure is higher this week. Did someone tell you that you weren't worth another "bump in the road" because usually that will do it.

10:50am
Dr. Castillo: "Hey kid. Okay, everything looks good. Let's check and see how you are. Okay, no change. Go home."

Also, if I wrote a book about pregnancy, I would include that sitting on the couch worrying about people you can't change definately does NOT cause labor.