All Good Things Must Come To An End.

No, I'm not talking about Top Chef.

Brittany is gone. Gone. Gone. Gone. Like the wind. Or maybe someone who couldn't pay her rent.

Not Brittany Spears, but the infamous Brittany, my upstairs-across neighbor. I heard a lot of racket earlier this evening going up and down the stairs, and I figured something was going on. My suspicions were confirmed when Ken came over and said, "Yep, it's true. Brittany is moving out."

So, in honor of Brittany and the many, many good times we had in the building, a little trip down memory lane. Alas, Brittany, we hardly knew ye. And we hardly knew the parade of boys that crossed your threshold. Although we probably knew them better than you did.

(Montage accompanied by the music of U2, "With or Without You")

• The time you got all drunk on your balcony and yelled down to me and Jenn, "Hey! I've got a party in my pants!"
• The many, many times you were outsmarted by your broom while sweeping your balcony and it flew out of your hands and off the balcony to the earth below.
• The time you borrowed milk from your new BFF, Jennifer, to cook for your "brother" when in reality we ALL know it was for your baby.
• The time Jennifer discovered you worked at Sonic and actually tipped you because she figured your baby still needed to be fed.
• The Burrito Fairy. We know it was you.
• The Sonic Fairy. Duh!
• The time your baby-daddy started banging on your door at 2am displaying his natural charm by screaming "Let me in, Bitch! I know you're in there!"
• During one of your many drunken parties everyone took it outside in the hall, and in your haste to get back into your apartment you walked into the wall.
• Your massive high heels in which you CLOMPED CLOMPED CLOMPED down the stairs.
• That time your baby-daddy told me and Jennifer about the time that his best friend shot him in the stomach.
• You yelling at your maybe-three-year-old son to hurry up and drag those plastic bags full of groceries up the stairs. And getting mad when he wasn't fast enough.
• The random articles of clothing left on the stairs.
• The stupid drunk boys jumping off the roof.
• The way you "parked" your car sideways when you would get home after a night out.
  

Wow. It's just not going to be the same. Oh well. Maybe a new, cute boy will move in. I'm good with neighbors. :)

This Was TOTALLY Icky.

This is a picture of my now de-clogged bathtub drain. I was FINALLY able to disassemble the little thingy, and it was maybe one of the grossest things I've ever experienced.

There was a HUGE clog that I managed to get rid of with a clothes hanger. See? There is a benefit to the wire ones! Now, it drains so freaking fast! Faster than it EVER has before!

Seriously, I'm pretty sure I pulled some blond hair out of there. Considering I don't even know anyone with long blond hair, that's pretty darn disgusting. At least I won't be standing in ankle deep water anymore when I take my showers!

Ugh. So. Gross.

Let the Good Times Roll

Yesterday, Jennifer and I made a memory for a couple of people in my apartment complex. I can hear it now...10 years ago two friends will be talking about the old days, when one will say to the other, "Hey, remember when we went to the pool on that Tuesday at, like, 2:00 in the afternoon, and there were those two old ladies there getting drunk and being loud? Bitches!!"

So, yes. We got drunk. And maybe a little bit loud. And a whole lot sunburned. But it was a hell of a good time! Jennifer and I haven't had any quality drunk time in a long time. We talked about how much our lives have changed in the past year, mostly due to boys and their stupid inability to recognize a good thing when it's staring you right in the face. My life the way it was when I moved into this apartment was so different. I kinda miss it. Actually, I miss it a lot. But I'm a better person for going through all of that, right? RIGHT??

Anyway...we swam, drank, swam, and drank some more all afternoon. Then I went to Jennifer's house where we drank some more while she got ready to go to her convention in Dallas. It was really fun, even though I think I almost fell asleep on her couch a couple of times. It was the first time I really felt the downside of dog ownership, however, when I realized that I couldn't just pass out on the couch since I had a dog at home that missed me and probably REALLY needed to pee.

So, I got home,don't really know what time it was, and then somehow ended up at Ken's playing the some of the worst games of Lumines I've ever played. (By the way, sorry for calling you out in that other paragraph, dude. This blog is supposed to be a way for me to vent, so I did. I just call 'em like I see 'em) I think I finally made it back home sometime around 1am, and proceeded to do what I should NEVER, EVER do...Drink and dial. Well, actually, text.

Um...The messages seemed like a really good idea at the time, but in hindsight...not so much. So, my apologies to those of you I text-ed during the late night hours with various messages that may or may not have made me sound desperate/angry/lonely/happy/nerdy/dorky, etc. All of you reading this should expect this from me by now! Come on!

So, that was my Tuesday. I'm very crispy and itchy right now due to the sunburn, and I'm not looking forward to trying to sleep tonight. I think I might have to do some Advil PM tonight. Or maybe I should sneak upstairs and steal some of Ken's Hydrocodone. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. :)

More Fairy Droppings!

Yes, Virginia, there IS a McDonald's Fairy!

Just in Case You Were Wondering...(otherwise known as "Jennifer and Tiffanie Have a Grand Idea!"

By the way, for those of you who are wondering about the picture of Jennifer over there on the right....This video was taken after Christmas of 2006, and it documents the freaking BRILLIANT idea we had of how to dispose of her Christmas tree. Enjoy our genious.

Like a Phantom in the Night...

The Sonic Fairy made another appearance!

Or maybe it's not the Sonic Fairy. Maybe this cup is like that traveling gnome that people send around the world and take pictures of. The reason I believe this may be true is that the cup that stayed in my breeze-way for weeks "disappeared" at the same time this one appeared next to this car! The uber-strange thing about this is that an hour before this picture was taken, the cup was actually sitting on top of the truck of said car. So, someone moved it....it's a mystery!

I can't wait for the Onion Fairy to make another appearance on the sidewalk next to the garages. The next time he visits, I will take pictures!!

Where the Hell is the Money Fairy?

Lookie Look! I was visited by the Sonic Fairy!!!

No shit. This was waiting for me when I got home tonight.

What the hell?

I guess I could use this to wash down the burritos.

Seriously, I thought that I was the most immature person in my building!