Very Disappointing Indeed.

I forced an issue today.

Long story short, my BD not only doesn't want to be involved in our baby's life, he doesn't want to pay child support. Well, to be fair, he says he's not sure WHAT he wants as far as involvement, but said that he was thinking along the lines of that he wants to stay out of the whole situation.

This conversation took place through text message (which is bad, I know, but I just didn't want to talk to him) and lasted almost two hours.

I'm really upset about it, but I'm not quite sure why. I'd pretty much assumed that this was the way it was going to go, but knowing for sure is completely different. During this "discussion", he kept bringing it back to money, and I don't really understand that. It's like he doesn't see the big picture here. I don't know. Sure, this was a less than ideal situation, but it is what it is. There will be a baby at the end of all of this, and I really thought that he would handle this like me. I guess I was wrong.

I'm upset that my judgement was so poor. But mostly I think I'm upset because that's it. It's just me. Although I know that my family and friends all support me, and that this baby is going to mean the world to them, the only other person who has a DIRECT connection to this child doesn't want anything to do with it. I know that sounds stupid, but like I said before, it is what it is.

A tiny part of me feels relieved, however. No shared Christmas's or Birthday's. But that's a small consolation for the fact that my child will probably never know his or her father.

Oh well...Enough of the pity party. This child is going to be great. And it's his loss if he's gonna choose the easy way out.

I can't wait until my appointment next week. I really want to hear the heartbeat again. I'm hoping for another ultrasound as well. I want to see a baby, dammit!! :) Plus, the quicker that appointment get's here, the quicker my March appointment will get here, and that's when I should be able to find out the sex. I already have a name in mind, but I'm keeping it super secret for now. No one knows but me and the Pudster.

So, that's that. I'm going to concentrate on my job, my growing son or daughter, and when I'm gonna get my next Big Mac and strawberry cheesecake ice cream. You know, the important things. :)

By the way, I plan on having a "Tiffanie Day" on Saturday. I don't care how stupid that sounds. I'm gonna try to get a haircut, then a pedicure and possibly a manicure, and maybe buy my first item of maternity clothes!

PS....Big shout out to Jennifer, who is having her problem wisdom tooth removed tomorrow...She's been in a lot of pain the past week, so hopefully she'll be back to her old self in no time!!