Things I Learned In Class Today

• Preparation for Childbirth class is NOT a good place to meet boys.
• Pregnant women should never watch a video of another woman giving birth. It's creepy and icky and now I don't want to do it anymore.
• This class would have been more fun had there been a drinking game involved. Perhaps a shot every time someone says "mucus plug".
• The Dads should have their own stupid class. They are the ones who looked the most frightened, and they are also the only ones who asked questions.
  
• Everything that you learned in this class could be found in the gazillion pregnancy books I've already read. I felt like a prego snob when I snickered under my breath when the one guy asked what the difference between the mucus plug and the "water sac" was. I know that's not common knowledge, but I guarantee you that every woman in that room knew the difference. I wanted an environment where you could ask the questions that are REALLY on our minds, like "What precautions can I take to make sure I don't accidentally poop on the table when I'm pushing my baby out." THAT would have been helpful.
• To the Dad that whined because it was too cold in the classroom: Screw You.
• You know what really turns me off? When a man carries his wifes purse. Everywhere. For a long time. I'm not talking about just holding it for a few seconds while she is preoccupied, I'm talking about carrying it for her all the way to the cafeteria. Is that itty bitty bag really too heavy for her to carry? And more importantly, why did she let him? Give him his balls back, please!
• To the couple that bragged about watching a circumcision on You Tube: WEIRDOS!
• To the instructor that made all of the Dads take the stairs while putting the Moms on the elevator to go up to the maternity floor: BRAVO!