Dear Good Judgment,

I'm terribly disappointed in you. It's been a long time since you've failed me. Leg warmers, blue eyeliner, Zima, Quang... You've let me down more times than I care to admit. However, I thought you had grown up. Matured, really. I thought that I'd reached a point in my life where I wouldn't have to question you anymore.

Guess I was wrong.

This past year has been filled with numerous examples of your failure.

At what point did you become so lazy as to make it okay for us to put out for anyone that shows the ability to grill? What about taking on a dog that I CANNOT afford? How about the drunken text messages that you allow me to send? Jesus..the list goes on forever...

I can't even trust you with the little things anymore. I mean, where where YOU when I stuffed that too big comforter in my too small washing machine yesterday? Out to lunch? Getting a pedicure? Having inappropriate sex with inappropriate people? All I know is that YOU SUCK these days.

Shape up or ship out.

Tiffanie

Ummm...yeah....I've had some beers.

Maybe cuz I'm drunk, maybe cuz I'm stupid, but I'm now under the impression that Rihanna's "Shut Up and Drive" is maybe the best song ever written.

Yeah, probs because I'm durnk.

Gee, our old LaSalle ran great. Those were the days.

Things that I miss...

• candy cigarettes


• pot


• being naive


• my way of thinking before "Sex & the City"


• when the phrase "passive aggressive" didn't exist


• Cheap Trick


• James. James. James.


• When $7 would get you a pack of cigs and a twelve pack


• Drinking HOT wine coolers (that had been stashed in my closet), smoking, and listening to Pink Floyd in my bedroom while my parents WERE home.


• "Sex & the City" (I know I mentioned this before, but I really really really miss this show)


• dressing up for Halloween


• Summer Vacation


• Spring Break


• Brady and Channing


• Thinking Big Red and Push-Up Pops were the best thing EVER


• Not knowing what a "Furry" was


• Jennifer's pool


• The Chicken Deluxe with Cheese at Whataburger


• Fried Ravioli at Jack in the Box


• $.25 snowcone day at elementary school

Copy, Paste, Blow Me.

EXCEL SUCKS!!!!!!

Well, er....Excel doesn't actually suck. It's more like I suck at Excel.

Get off me.

Sigh.

I miss you, Jennifer.

I really, really do.

This stir-stick that I used in my drink that I just made at 2am is a sad reminder.

Seriously, you just have no idea....